Thanks – I also added

$args = array(
‘post_parent’ => $ref->mes_id,
‘post_type’ => ‘any’,
‘numberposts’ => – 1,
‘post_status’ => ‘any’
);
$children = get_children($args);

foreach ($children as $child) {

array_push($not_post, $child);
}

As it worked for the parent message but all the children were still shown.